September issue - Magazine - Page 49
Glenside
News
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ACTIVITIES
Illustration © Oksanaok | Dreamstime.com
OCTOBER GARDENING DIARY
Hello everybody out there in normal people lands! It is me,
the old boy, saying hello from the land of David. Those of
you who bothered to read last month's article (thank you to
both of you) I felt deserved a reward of some kind for their
bravery. I thought perhaps a fine burgundy or a hamper
from Harrods. Lady Penny and I had occasion to visit
Langham Street Market recently and I had a go on the old
tombola prize stall. I paid my money and greedily eyed the
delicious chocolates and bottles of fine wine (thinking, I
could win a couple of bottles for my two loyal readers and
save a bob or two).
You need a nought or a five and you will be a winner I
was told. Wonder of wonders, my first number ended in a
five. I was ecstatic! “I am a winner,” I proclaimed a little
too loudly. “Please quickly hand me my prize. I wish to
enjoy it now.” I licked my lips in great anticipation of my
winnings and, lo and behold, the winning 'bottle' was
brought to my eager outstretched arms. What great monies
I have saved by not going to Harrods after all, I rejoiced.
The wondrous prize arrived to rapturous and raucous
laughter… a bottle of hair shampoo! If any of you out there
are laughing, I will find out and then you are for it, mate!
There have been two splendid craft & produce shows
locally in August and September. Both Whissendine and
Cottesmore had very successful shows with increased
turnout at both. If you have never entered a local show
before, have a go. It is great fun and the pride of winning a
rosette is something special. Congratulations and very well
done to organisers and exhibitors alike.
Did you know that ants never get sick? Yes, it's because
they have little anty bodies!
We are now into the flu vaccine season and I have had a
thought. Why not train all Amazon drivers to give the flu jab
when they deliver. The entire population would be
immunised by Saturday, Wednesday if they've got Prime!
If you enjoy nonsense what about the following: She was
only a moonshiner's daughter, but I miss her still. Get it?
Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Because it's
swarm.
Just so everyone is clear, I'm going to put my glasses on.
(That one takes a bit of thinking about).
I lost my job as a stage designer; I left without making a
scene.
How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A
buccaneer...
My friends and I have named our band 'Duvet'. It's a cover
band...
Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c? Because you can't
'c' in the dark…
Scientists got together to study effects of alcohol on a
person's walk, and the result was staggering...
I'm trying to organise a hide and seek tournament, but good
players are really hard to find.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and
nuts. I won't lie, it was a rocky road.
I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the
Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back”.
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on
closing up his own incision? Suture self.
Finally, I've started telling everyone about the benefits of
eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness!
So… better get on with some work, I suppose.
JOBS FOR THE MONTH
Consider clipping and tidying Virginia creeper before leaf
fall; this will save a lot of sweeping up of fallen leaves later.
Cut ivy away from windows, gutters and especially eaves of
the house.
If you have not done so yet, tidy up your wisteria but save
the major cut until February to ensure a healthy show of
beautiful flowers next year.
Have you got any old packets of annuals seeds such as
cornflower, love-in-a-mist or even poppies hanging around?
Why not sow them now in convenient beds and spaces to
give an early 'surprise' flowering next spring.
Consider a mulch of the soil beds with bark, manure, rotted
compost or leaves, these excellent mulches will depress late
weeds and feed the ground as they rot down.
Collect any fallen leaves and store in plastic bags to form a
lovely leaf mould for next year.
Be aware of ground frost and protect any tender plants.
Dig up any remaining potatoes and carrots to prevent slugs
damaging or overwintering in them.
Lift the level of cut on the lawnmower and don't mow grass
that has a frost on it as this may leave unsightly black
marks.
Scarify lawns to remove thatch and general debris. Also,
your lawns will definitely benefit from a late autumn feed.
Make small repairs to any damaged parts. You can still lay
turf if the sun is warm and there are no frosts forecast.
Cut down fading foliage from marginal pond plants; cover
the pond with a net to catch any falling leaves.
This is the month to take cuttings of carnations, pinks,
penstemon, roses and spirea and also the month to divide
perennials.
Prune roses hard… this is best done after an argument when
you are in a bad mood!
Lift non-hardy plants, let them luxuriate in the shelter of a
shed or greenhouse. Re-firm any other loosened shrubs.
Consider protecting fruit trees with waxed paper around the
trunk to deter the winter coddling moth from climbing up to
the branches to lay those pesky eggs.
Remember to treat/paint wooden furniture,
fences, and sheds, etc, now whilst they
are dry.
Collect apples and pears and store in a
dry place.
Plant spring flowering bulbs but leave
tulips until November.
Winter flowering pansies look great in
baskets and troughs; give it a go and
be pleasantly surprised.
Good luck and
happy gardening,
David Penny
Page 49
